i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
