i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
