I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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