all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
how drunk are you?
Several
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
