whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
