Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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