Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
