Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
