dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
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They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
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Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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