I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
babies were throwing up all over the place
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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