WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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