PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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