No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
