I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.