can u get pink eye on your cock?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
