just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
