ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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