Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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