Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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