just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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