There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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