Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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