You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I see more hoeing in ur future
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