i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
