My sheets look like a crime scene.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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