I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
