Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
They have beer where we have blood.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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