Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
