literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
