Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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