I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
