If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
two words: eviction party
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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