sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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