you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
