note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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