That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
