well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
