that's an acceptable place to lick
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
