I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
