id be glad to
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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