I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
