did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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