woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I will be naked everywhere
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize