He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
