just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
