did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
