I can't breathe out the right side of my face
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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