Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
