you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
did i walk over a car last night?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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