The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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