You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I enjoy the company of your penis
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
