Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
