One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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