i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
