Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
