Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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