She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just want to make out with him forever
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
