I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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