How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
